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I do not at all understand the mystery of grace — only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us. Anne Lamott So many of my clients tell me that gratitude, used as a skill for wellbeing, is not helpful. They try to keep a gratitude journal, but when they scan their lives for what to feel grateful for, they come up short. Other people in their lives are abusive...
Hello, women over fifty, here are a couple of questions for you. Who are you? Where have you been? What is your story? Ok, now take a breath, and think again. Other thoughts? What is the re-story? The truth is, our stories are continuously evolving with each moment. When you are sitting in the middle of your middle age and trying to figure out how to move forward, it may seem counterintuitive to take a...
I used to scream at my family, curse my condition and pop four Advil. Then I decided I needed more. Somehow all the aggravation had to be worthy of closer consideration. Most major life cycle passages are joined with a ritual. The passage into adolescence is paired with a bat-mitzvah or confirmation, graduation from high school with a ceremony and a party, and marriage is launched with a wedding celebration. But there is one important...
Most of us have a complicated relationship with change. We spend much of our lives dreaming of it, struggling to make it and terrified of it. The problem is, change is inevitable. Whether it is our bodies, our relationships, or our dreams, we are always in a process of change. Yet, many of us spend much of our lives clinging to what we know, to the familiar, in effort to avoid the change that we...
Sometimes, change feels like a battleground that we have been thrown into without armor or plan. Change can feel like the enemy, wreaking havoc on our expectations. Other times change is a victory to strive for, and we make it our mission to overcome the status quo. But even these battles can be daunting and overwhelming for a middle-aged woman. Middle-aged women are pretty much bombarded with change. Menopause brings hormonal shifts, divorces ensue, parents...
People told me “You will know when you are ready for joint replacement” I need both of my knees and my hip replaced. I have osteoarthritis that I think I inherited from my mother. It probably started about fifteen years ago but the truth is I don’t really know. Fifteen years ago, I was taking care of so many people I was not really paying attention. It did not happen overnight, that I know. It...
What turns me on? I asked myself that recently. And holy shit, I drew a blank. I had just read a staggering essay by Audre Lorde pronouncing the erotic as a source of power. And I wanted to summon this power within myself. I looked for the erotic space in my mind. But my mind kept trying to squeeze old images of my younger, sexier self into a future frame of reference. When I tried...