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Autopilot is death. Choose where to invest your energy, and do so intentionally, because the clearest path to a robust life is purposeful engagement. ~ Barbara Bradley Hagerty in Life Reimagined: The Science, Art and Opportunity of Midlife. Dialectical Behavior Therapy, (DBT) created by Marsha Linehan, offers skills to build a life worth living. Lately, I teach the skills to women who want to make the most of the midlife experience. This is the second...
Ellie sat in the therapy chair across from me and repeated things she had said many times before. “I am not good enough.” “I am not smart enough.” “I don’t know what to do.” “I feel hopeless.” The energy was draining from the room. We were both stifling yawns. Ellie wanted change. She felt trapped in a body and identity that she judged and couldn’t abide. Out of the blue, I threw a light-blinking rubber ball at her as she was talking. For the first time in...
All of us have to learn how to invent our lives, make them up, imagine them. We need to be taught these skills; we need guides to show us how. If we don’t, our lives get made up for us by other people. ~Ursula K. Le Guin Novelist Ursula Le Guin recently passed on. But she leaves us with the ancient yet fresh notion that we can and should re-create ourselves beyond the confines of...
The leaves have fallen, snow covers the gray earth, and a new year takes the reins. Can we talk about impermanence? I know we don’t want to. We’d rather live like we are in control. But lets get real for a moment. Just like in the physical universe, all in our human world tends towards entropy. It is a law of physics. At 59, I am aware of impermanence all around me. Family members getting...
I do not at all understand the mystery of grace — only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us. Anne Lamott So many of my clients tell me that gratitude, used as a skill for wellbeing, is not helpful. They try to keep a gratitude journal, but when they scan their lives for what to feel grateful for, they come up short. Other people in their lives are abusive...
Hello, women over fifty, here are a couple of questions for you. Who are you? Where have you been? What is your story? Ok, now take a breath, and think again. Other thoughts? What is the re-story? The truth is, our stories are continuously evolving with each moment. When you are sitting in the middle of your middle age and trying to figure out how to move forward, it may seem counterintuitive to take a...
I used to scream at my family, curse my condition and pop four Advil. Then I decided I needed more. Somehow all the aggravation had to be worthy of closer consideration. Most major life cycle passages are joined with a ritual. The passage into adolescence is paired with a bat-mitzvah or confirmation, graduation from high school with a ceremony and a party, and marriage is launched with a wedding celebration. But there is one important...
Each week Dr. Cecilia Dintino and Psychotherapist Hannah Murray Starobin will speak with women who have twisted their plots and discovered that life after 50 can be filled with imagination, inspiration, laughter, and endless possibilities.