Every now and then, Cecilia and Hannah wonder, “are we there, have we made it, can we finally call ourselves adults?” It just seems like we’ve been waiting for decades for that certificate of achievement, or that special feeling that lets us know we’ve made the grade.

Yes, we are in our sixties and still asking ourselves, What does it mean to be an adult?

So this week on our Twisting the Plot Podcast we talk with Julie Lythcott-Haims, who wrote Your Turn: How To Be An Adult.

A former corporate lawyer, Julie became a Dean at Stanford University and then wrote a book, How to Raise an Adult. She also wrote a memoir, Real American, about growing up black and biracial in white spaces.

In her latest book, Julie has a lot to say about growing up. Her voice is direct and encouraging. She gets candid about her experience and she fills her book with stories by and about many different people navigating adulthood. Julie calls the storytelling her “commitment to inclusion.” The stories by diverse groups of storytellers confirm a very important message: being an adult is universally complex, ongoing and not easy.

We felt reassured after reading the book. It gave us a lot to think about, a lot of tips and tools. We understand that being an adult is less a destination and more an ongoing process.

Julie’s book is written for young, emerging adults but it’s good for us older adult wannabees too. Perhaps it is finally “our turn.”

Visit julielythcotthaims.com

Sometimes, the best plot twists come from reaching back into our pasts.

Over 40 years ago, Hannah and Cecilia lived in New York City, in apartments on the same floor, just down the hall from each other. Our 73^rd Street apartments were tiny and close. We could even hear each other’s conversations through an airshaft. Hannah lived with our dear friend Sza, and Ceil lived with our old friend Donna.

It’s been decades, but we decided to reconnect with Donna.

Take a listen to this week’s podcast where we reminisce and catch-up on marriages, smoking habits, work, values, weight fluctuations and decisions that didn’t work out.

Donna DeSanto is one of a kind. She’s a unique, nonjudgmental and very funny friend who for some reason loves us unconditionally. Friendships seem to matter even more as we get older. And reconnecting with Donna is a gift we gave ourselves.

Get ready for something different.

Cindy Gallop doesn’t do status quo.

After years as a leader and change-maker in the advertising business she has moved on to new projects.

At 61, Cindy shares that her life course is guided by a series of serendipitous accidents. Her current accidental mission is to help us all learn about, explore and talk about…sex.

MakeLoveNotPorn aims to help us all uncover our sexual potential. Cindy explains that there are two coincidental issues preventing us from knowing who we can be as sexual beings. First, we live in a society where sex is never discussed. Second, the porn industry is bigger and more accessible than ever. Hence, what we know about sex is taught to us by porn. It leaves most of us confused, unsatisfied, and missing out. MakeLoveNotPorn is a platform that invites real people to show real sex, in all its diversity. It aims to dispel myths, bash stereotypes, and free us all physically, emotionally and intimately.

It’s a provocative topic. It’s a bold business.

Cindy shakes us up and makes us think.

It’s a plot twist for all.

Learn more about Cindy at cindygallop.com

Check out makelovenotporn.tv

In today’s podcast Hannah and Cecilia take time to reflect on what we have learned from recent podcast guests.

One of the joys of our Twisting the Plot podcast is getting to meet some truly incredible people. Whether they are caregivers, educators, artists, mothers, aunts, friends…they all have a story to tell.

What we had not anticipated is how listening to these stories would affect us.

This week we thought we would talk about a few recent conversations that have done just that.

First, we discuss how Maria Hodermarska, a professor at NYU, taught us about letting go and, through the process, continuing to grow. Then there was Erin Pace, an embodiment coach, who asked us, What if you are perfect just the way you are?  Finally, we ponder about our conversation with Nikki Giovanni, poet, activist and teacher who leads by example, speaking her truth with honesty, grace, and dignity. Among the many things, Nikki taught us is to marvel at the granularity of life. 

We also share how the women in our Twelve in Twelve Program remind us about the importance of community, and the power of being seen and heard.

Come reflect with us.

We are filled with gratitude for all the women, and all the stories.

Nikki Giovanni has a gift for making the everyday extraordinary.

She is an American poet, commentator, activist and educator. She has published multiple poetry anthologies, children’s books and spoken word recordings. In the 1960’s she was dubbed “the poet of the black revolution.” She was an activist in the civil rights movement and an inspiration for the Black Arts movement. She has won 7 NAACP Image awards, the Langston Hughes Medal, and was the first recipient of the Rosa Parks Woman of Courage Award.

In the 1970’s Nikki produced and made several appearances on the television program Soul!, where she engaged in a memorable dialogue with James Baldwin. She has taught writing and literature at Queens College, Rutgers and Ohio State, and is now the University Distinguished Professor of English at Virginia Tech.

We are so, so fortunate to have Nikki on our Twisting the Plot Podcast. We could have talked together for hours. Conversations with Nikki are like poetry itself. Multiple meanings exude from each word she speaks. She’s a wordsmith, a storyteller, and a wise guide. And she lets her imagination run free. She thinks growing older is a good idea.

She reads from her most recent book, Make Me Rain.

Make Me Rain

make me rain

turn me into a snowflake

let me rest

on your tongue

make me a piece of ice

so I can cool you

let me be the cloud

that embraces you

or the quilt

that gets you dry

snuggle close

listen to me sing

on the windowsill

make me rain

on you

Check out Nikki’s website at www.nikki-giovanni.com

Read some more of Nikki’s poems at poetryfoundation.org

Buy Make Me Rain: Poems and Prose by Nikki Giovanni on Amazon